nothing so mundane

Sunday, October 15, 2006

tuition will never be bored with huiyi around.
cool! cos morning call is provided(:
for once, i felt i will not be late.

AND had a talk with aym just now.
was really a walking up call.
right, im too dependent.
yes, im afraid of the lonely feeling. i got it too much.
and i tense to rely on certain people without realising.
i have never want to admit, and even tried denying.
for now, i felt i shouldnt.

yes, all you people know that i got really a dramatic life.
too dramatic that i myself find it hard to believe it too.
yes, i can only accept it. but im not, for the past few months or even years..
i have always long to own something. and that made me into a really selfish person.
someone i find its scary too? i really hate that.
theres little thing i can do.
i tried in many ways to think of the bright side.
but theres always somewhere that im feeling empty. i find it really hard to fill the emptiness.
perhaps that was why i ended finding myself doing silly little things.
and always leading myself to the emotional side of me.
its hard to explain, but i really wonder why do people even envy my life?
i hate it hell lot.
sorry that i have always misused it.
alright. i will try to handle those stupid feeling well too.
i will just actually have this tendency to easily feel for something.
something really beyond my control.
as for now, i really want to keep everything aside first.
give me time to find what i really need or want alright.
its really a struggle.
to 7-letters-name, you reallyreally need to give me more time.
thanks aym, that talk knock me up!
iwillnotbethatemotionalcreature.

and to the dearest friend i even knew, i hope i didnt scare you and stuff.
that was words of the inner me. and i didnt know why i tell you all that.
perhaps midnight talk could be just words of secrets?
anyhows, thanks for things you did for me.
i hope everything will be just fine. you'll always be my dearest friend.

thanks CJJ for sending me this song.
gotta tell me, samantha mumba.
though i have this song in my com long ago, but thanks again.
its really nice.

get away & i'll focus.