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BY. shotgun
MISC. imageshack blogger

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July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007

♥amanda W
♥ adeline
♥ alicia
♥ audrey
♥ chan ping
♥ charlene
♥ chermaine
♥ deborah(lam)
♥ deborah(lim)
♥ divinia
♥ edlin
♥ fellicia
♥ huiyi
♥ jasmine
♥ jia wen
♥ jian ann
♥ joanneG
♥ kleo
♥ mabel
♥ shili
♥ songying
♥ tabitha
♥ tessa
♥ valerie
♥ vanessa
♥ verillyn
♥ vivian
♥ xiumei
♥ yolanda

all the laughter.
all the joy.
i like it.
i really dont mind staying back playing in the rain with you.
cause its really damn nice.
running and chasing like mad.
how wonderful.
all the craps and jokes.
let do it again one day?



oh.today.
did smt really bad.
i "skip" lesson.
but its not really as in skip.
cause LOH ask me go find ghee-ghee.
she didnt say if cannot find.
then go back to class?
but so what if i found ghee-ghee.
how can i leave her alone.
ya i admitted partly i like staying in that AIR-CON place.
anyway.
i saw the real side of that COWARD loh.
forcing me to admit or rather say smt that its not the REAL FACT.
WTH.
and its none of short zhong business here?
why must she go chap.
dont she have smt btr to do.
she chap every of my business.
whta's wrong la.
no one will understand.
dunno how to explain either.
cause no one really believe it.
and if they wanna say i SKIP?
let them.
news spread so damn fast.
mrs chng came telling me she heard BAD things about me?
but those freaking idiot are not stating the facts.
so how can believe THOSE WHO SPREAD.
whatever.


smt that i shld me happy of.
i discovered or found our small little secret hiding place.
nothing can stop.
thanks baby.



its never too late...

oh.
yvo and i were almost late today.
gosh gosh.
but we got her zhu jiao for excuse if we are really late la.
LOL.
its not bad having someone to go school with afterall.
i didnt Zzzz in the bus for the first time.
there can be miracle??
oh.chapel??
still the same.
but somehow..
we agreed that we got similar voices somewhere or another.
haha. NOT BAD HUH..
after that was MILK time..

alrightt.
i going so WILD!!
my na-NA-na-NA-na spirit!!(not that christian song)
gosh.
anyway...
some people mistook my blog?
stop asking.
yes.
just got very addicted to smt..
oh. just have good feeling.
hmm. sweet and bitter!!
hard to describe.
wondering what?
ya. its just that smt..
ask those crappy freak.
they know what that's!!
boo.. NA MAN EH NUH:)


well. went bugis ytd?
oh. stayed till that super late..
ytd was a bid day you see.
so can be excused!
actually.
not planning to go sch today.
but i just wanna prove GHEE-GHEE wrong.
i dont chicken out just because of that LFL's test.
IN THE END.. i did it!!
ya. bugis was so plain plain..
but with you ppl.
was GREAT.
pls dont challenge with those cheese-fries again.
unless you really wanna zuo nu zuo ma.
i'll take it then.


felt so close today?
that was the first time.
after all these years.
...this is the first time.


FLYING HIGH!!


i walked out..
nothing is impossible.
just got to hack.


-i miss

missing the feelings that IT give.



addicted to that smell of that smt.



-simple as that-


and..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY our dearest! but from the purest love of me.

from the very first sight...


then..


captivated.



attracted.



addicted.



sink.



deeply missing.



all i love.





that's my life these few days.
understand it if you wish.
or simply read it(:

throw everything aside.


start afresh..


not thinking about it anymore.


giving up...


say no more.


mind is made up.


have faith in me.


that's it. for all that i've said.


please just believe me for now.


cause i'm trying real hard.


see my effort. wake me up.

i've enjoyed both days with you.
for just the feeling.
and the everything.
i know what i want.


so foolish no more.
ahead...


just dont mind my idiotic past.

can i have that dream again?
though i cant meet you in real person
but in dreamland.
it wld be enough.


missed.
waited for years-

i appreciate the talk last night.
till i was tired that i even miss school.
but its rather good that i can really not think for once.
i really feel so high?
as in my mood.
but pls believe that i really did not make any stupid mistake.
though i though of?
yes.thanks for clearing all my doubts and things that i'm uncertain about!
nothing to thought of now.
its carefree.
and no SOURISH and PAIN feeling.
so nice.
hope it can last forever.
yes.
i agree that not meeting up everyday is good.
less arguement and quarrel.
but not meeting everyday make me miss ppl.
what to do.
i can only say i MISS.
compared to everthing.
i can only say.
you people are the most important in my life.
YES,MOST IMPORTANT!!
something that i cannot live without.
and yes.
that two bowls of ice kachang.
BEST EVER?
of course that dinner last dinner??
PERFECT!!!



throw any other things aside.
its time to really live as what i'm actually am.
that dream was rather NICE i thought?

hope its for the last time i'm saying this.
GET OUT OF MY LIFE.
i wish to stay undisturbed.
really.
or if i'm the person who is that dumb ass.
fine.
i'll get my ass out of here.
i dont want to experience that feeling again.
the plain freaking life of me.
if i can do it once.
why not the second time.
i'll promise that i'll be FIRM AND STRONG to testify.
testify the truth,
testify the ending.


hopetoseetheexpectedcheatedending..

for once.
i said smt real sensible.

accompany paper brain to take bus today?
was rather nice?
got entertained.
yes. i admitted i'm another blur sotong.
that's why make you laugh throughout huh?
i enjoyed.


i sat at yvo's place today.
she was absent.according to divinia.she went to ultra- scan?
yes.
ta you le?
but not mine.divinia's.
anyway.
woo. kinda nice?
today..
got sweet to eat.
got ppl to laugh with me?
and stuff...
and yes we sang.
And between now and then, till i see you again, I'll be loving you. love, me.
that song is still stuck in my brain la.
nice singing from you guys.



All the colors of the rainbow, all the voices of the wind,
Every dream that reaches out,
It reaches out to find where SOMTHING began.
Every word of every story, every star in every sky,
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love,
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough.


i'm finding my way out.
just let me escape for now from all the truth.

simply dont get what i meant.
because it's too chim?
hmm.
i dun want wanna spell out everything till its that clear?
you feel that its referring to you.
its you then.
have no doubt.
if there is.
ask me.
i will say.
i cant possibly write,
oh.this refers to who and who.
some are just wish to be kept deep in.



well. wanna understand the complicated life of me.
take time alright?
if not leave it alone.
dun want gd fren anymore.
i said all my frens are my darling and dear ones.
-equal-

why force me go that meeting?
give me that freaking attitude early in the morning.
so,what i gave you in return was the bo-chap attitude.
is that what you really want?
i dun care.i'm tired so i slept.
i disagree of what you've said. so i talk back?
yes. for that moment i feel like i dont behave like a prefect?
i have never wanted to behave like one anyway.
not trying to rebel?
but i really sacrifices quite alot for this TIE of mine?
okay. anyway.i know my pictures are so amusing that you guys laugh like mad?
but please. i'm in my dreamland. drooling all over?
who give a damn.
i'm really tired. 2 hours of sleep?
TIRED!!
and thanks for all those concern?
but you guys just dont have to know why i stayed till so late?
well.i'm still thinking if i should go?
i went there already?
furthermore. SOME PEOPLE are not going.
so its kinda pointless.
no one to share all those laughter and grumbles with?
i hope i can be Firm enough to tell her my answer tommorrow.
do you all really know the pressure i'm actually facing.
every decision matters alright.


yes. saw sissy zhou,jian-an and yuanying at the bus-stop.
gosh.CAI YIN ZHOU really can seduce guys?
that's so gross.
i share not reveal the identity of the poor victim.
but yes.i really envy jian-an and yuanying?
can still go bugis at this point of time.
telling me that nothing to do?
OMG. what a carefree life they are having now?
hmm. their friendship?
seems so firm and strong?
perhaps yvo and i had guess correctly.
because one is willing to give in?
oh. or perhaps there are other more reasons.
who knows?
but just hope that they really can stop accusing me.
please. shopping doesnt mean dating.
furthermore its with a girl.
i dun want others to have the wrong thinking alright?



sometimes its really good to hide from the fact.
hide from the freakin ppl.
hide from the scene
its not that pain afterall.

i'm just wondering why certain ppl keep appearing in my dream?
oh please! i really hope i can know the answer.
well. i still prefer those SWEET ones.
oh isnt because i'm thinking too much?
but some told me there will be an opposite effect of whatever appear in ones dream.
sometime. i really hope not.

oh. dinner with mum was NOT BAD.
first time. i cant finish it?
after that. she walk me to the bus-stop.
i really dont know why.
whenever mum kiss or hug me.
i wld feel so...
goosebump stand because of her.
but the problem is i really love those actions of love from her?
but why i would react that way?
i'll try to overcome it.
I WILL.


dont feel like facing the reality.

what i did was merely send someone home.
playing my part as a host.
was considered wrong?
why must you make a big fuss out of it?!
get this clear.
i live for myself and not for you.
please dont ever try to control my life.
i hate it can.
i just wanna do things that i wanna do.
you have no rights at all to even stop me.
i just wanna be what i am.
and remain as what i am.

i'm bored alright.
i feel like blogging every second of my life?
write out those every bit and little of how i felt and stuff.

god did smt good today to me.
GOD actually rewarded someone.
with a awesome present..
really practical.
and somehow i benefited from it.
isnt that great?
woo!

hmm.
i came to realised cher is actually more mature than i do.
after all that..
really.
perhaps.
i was really wrong from the very beginning.
expecting those things that are immpossible.
trying to protect as though can ever do it?
...
i really went "over"
after all.
i'm just a friend.
so why bother to care or think so much.
in the end.
its me who is kicked out again.
by those reasons.
fine.
can i chose to pause or re-start?
or QUIT?


wo zhen de hen bu fu qi...


why even go bother to count-down..
for i dont even have any mood.
still thinking to go or not to go..
i hate short zhong!!!
what a nice present from her..

i'm so lethargic.
school was so fun today.
without kimberly( WORLD PEACE!!)
and ya.
that teacher..miss loh...low..or lo??
who cares la.
she's really CP la.
gosh.
probably she thinks she's still living in the 60's?
oh.
what have our sch become??
there goes the young CP..
and here comes another old CP??
must complain to yanhock..
what's happening la..
but still hope that those who are absent today.. please continue to be absent!


oh.
for once A-MAN-DA(means slow and ah ta-ah ta) say my sci is good?
so happy.
perhaps because i only bother to listen to those i like.
who give a shit about the rest.


and yes!
i got my revenge.
A-MAN-DA got abused by me.
ITS RETRIBUTION!!!
haha
how nice i treat her..
(da shi teng,ma shi ai!)


i wonder why i'm so hyper in class these few days??
came up to a conclusion.
i'm still running....



oh.
its really alright for me to sacrifice.
is just a show.
what matters the most.
is we enjoyed the talk?
pour out our sorrow?
so does that mean we had just overcome another obstacle?



heaven is like fooling me.
this heaven only let me have one choice.
why cant heaven just give me two?
its not too much for this request of mine..
it applies to all things..

it's time to wake up.
cause since that call.( had with mum)
i realised mistakes are not allowed.
if not who will walk that difficult path with us.
it's hard to get out once you are in.
cause i know there will not be such person with me, when i'm stuck.
i learnt. BE STRONG.

singing and all the shoutings!
yvo and i really RAHH!!!
haha.
its fun to sing "you're beautiful"?
zhengyi and i really prove that not only james blunt has that unique voice..
that goes.."you beaitiful".
hopefully that cheer yvo up?
cause its not worth to waste a single drip of tear for those IDIOT and ASSHOLE out there.
they simply dont appreciate what we did for them.
but well.
we know can alrd.

and dear and her mates really make me laugh throughout.
now i know why she's a stt?
but.
for that moment.
i've also became a STT?
haha

i no longer want to be used anymore.
isnt that hurtful enough.
well.
if you just wanna use me just to attract attention?
its simply F-A!
go think or reflect?
dont you feel ashame?
i regretted not listening to mum earlier..
things will be not be the same if i heed the advices.
i wanna listen no more.
i'm sick and tired of those moron days.

and jojo..
i'm not angry with you.
seriously not.
but u should not have pushed me.
poor keith got a great fall.
or its retribution.
for immitating kimberly?( trying to be another irritant in class?)

if you cant keep to promises.
please dont make empty promises?
its completely different from what i see and hear.

confused.

THANKS TO ALL!!!!
those who helped me today.
just for the TWO BUCKS??
okay.
stop laughing at me la.
well.
it is important??
and dont ask me why??
haha
it is just IMPORTANT!!!
its my carelessness to have lost it la.


first.
gave to wayne.
but cant find wayne..
then wayne went to change with xiu mei.
then in the ended up with xiu mei??
gosh.
then xiu mei went missing.
after that.
ask ard hoping to find her.
but they say she went canteen.
what if she went to buy thing in the canteen??
then those auntie change to to other students??
ahh.
then i'll be dead??
but luckily she didnt buy anything.
and wayne got the two bucks back for me.
woo.
but he didnt give xiu mei two bucks in exchange?
haha.
how cunning!!
BUT.
what matters the most is i got back my TWO BUCKS!!


APPRECIATED..
yes. so what if i really remember the serial number??
that is NOT FUNNY!!


and now i'm so tired??

you are the colours of my wind.
you are the light of my life.
you are the shape of my heart.


to the dear ones that i'm missing..

seeing you appear.
is the happiest things ever.
its like picking up a gold coin on the floor.
its like seeing a rare gems.
gosh.
it's nice.
but why good things just wont last..

will there stll be hopes around??

4 hours ago..
i'm at CHANGI.
not at the prison.
but at the airport!

and this 4 hours later.
i'm at nowhere but infront of the com..
blogging!

what should i say.
my voice changed?
rahh.
all thanks to the singing session.
well.
i still didnt regret.
i love the
...........WU-HA.
and.....WU-DING.
haha
yes.
but definitely not that woman posing in that MTV.
gosh.
my goosebump stand all because of her.
EEeeeeeee.


anyway.
hope that the day will not come.
i really hope.
seriously.
cause i dont know how to face it.
will god just let this day zoom past without me.
for just that day.
i'm scared.
i really dont wanna face it.
well.
leave it to heaven.
cause only "HEAVEN KNOWS":)
what can i do??
oh..PRAY!!
or just run-away..?


though i'm not blind yet.
but i miss you finally..

we had arguement just now.
it wasnt good.
but why must we started in the first place.
okay.
must thank my sudden silent.
that really make you stop all those nasty words.
if not it will just be endless.
you know i'll be leaving.
must you make it so that "not nice"?
luckily it ended quite well.
so not that bad after all?


woo!!!
anyway..
dinner last night was hilarious?
everything was so "cartoon"?
nice actually.
and all those yummy yummy food.
was filling.
and that red wine..
AND..
the re-mix of orange and beer!
cool!
so nice.
my face didnt turn red la.
really didnt.
i'm well-trained okay.


i dreamt about you last night.
i'm surprised.
it had been ages since you appear in my dreamland.
but will things be like what happened in my dream
leave it all to heaven.


i really wanna be happy.
and i know i will.
only if those evil bad people disappear from my life forever!

stop complaining for nothing to read yes??
i blog.
to be frank.
somehow i find everything so damn freaking meaningless.
i went to hide.
running away from all the fcukin things.
well.
and also because i got that damn swollen eye.
and that lobster's skin.
so damn poor thing la.
pain.
swollen.
i dun even dare to face anyone.
but now..
i became a peeling onion.
peel me all you want.
it's everything okay.
so itchy.
i have already learnt my lesson.
yes.
listen to whatever you have said
okay?



i guess its not too late that i've finally realised i'm really nothing.
NOTHING AT ALL
but a idiot?
a fool?
it's enough.
i can only blame myself.though i know that there's a trap.
i still jump in.
but why would i?!!
i dunno.
it's just the foolishness of me.
but.
i really enjoyed those days.
dunno why i just like those days.
though its only recently.
but you will never expect how happy i am.
but now..
i can no longer tell you anything.
everything seems to just fade away all on that night.
i cant tell how pain it is...
how long i spent that night.
that night just seems endless.
it's affecting me now and then.
i hope.
i wish.
you are not the one.
it all seems like a dream.
perhaps i was right to say that good thing doesnt last.
i was right.
absolutely right to say that.
however bad things haunt me.
haunt me like mad.
i seriously dunno how to face you.



the hard covering is so damn fragile.
it's time to come back to reality and face this cruel merciless world.