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BY. shotgun
MISC. imageshack blogger

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July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007

♥amanda W
♥ adeline
♥ alicia
♥ audrey
♥ chan ping
♥ charlene
♥ chermaine
♥ deborah(lam)
♥ deborah(lim)
♥ divinia
♥ edlin
♥ fellicia
♥ huiyi
♥ jasmine
♥ jia wen
♥ jian ann
♥ joanneG
♥ kleo
♥ mabel
♥ shili
♥ songying
♥ tabitha
♥ tessa
♥ valerie
♥ vanessa
♥ verillyn
♥ vivian
♥ xiumei
♥ yolanda

THANKS huh, charlene. for the tag. LOL

Favourite colour: GREEN.

Favourite food: SCALLOP PORRIDGE

Favourite movie: ALL EMO. ROMANCE SHOWS

Favourite sport: BALL games?

Favourite day of the week: that depend.

Favourite ice-cream: nothing in particular.

Favourite TV shows: upcoming goong for NOW.

Current mood: im forever rahh-ing.

Current taste: taste it and you'll know :X

Current clothes: green tee and shorts. LOL

Current desktop: ACER

Current toenail colour: -

Current time: 1.50am

Current annoyance:you're not online!

Current thoughts: loads of thought in mind la.

First best friend: one of my K2 partner.

First crush: mike.

First movie: forgotten.

First lie: its a white lie!

First music: could be ABC song?

Last cigarette: dont feel like mentioning.

Last drink: ice water.

Last car ride: BUS 10

Last crush: still stuck with that one.

Last phone call: 8.13pm with deb.

Last CD played: hillsong.

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: im all the while single?

Have you ever broken the law: LOADS. not to be mentioned. heh

Have you ever been arrested: i manage to escape?

Have you ever skinny dipped: yes, in a hotel's pool.

Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: who could be that lucky one? LOL

Have you ever loved and lost somebody: yes, my regrets):

another one.

single,taken or crushing? single.

are you happy with your life now? trying to be..

when you meet the right person,do you fall in love with him/her fast? who knows?

have you ever had your heart broken? YES. OUCH*

would you take someone back if she cheats on you? that depends.

have you ever talked about marriage with another before? yes, not serious one.

do you want children? yes?

how many? see how pain it is first. if not adopt?

would you ever consider adoption? mentioned above.

if someone likes you right now,what do you think is the best way to let you know his/her feelings? give me an awesome HUG.

do you enjoy getting into relationship? i dont know?

what is the furtherest thing you and your ex did? CLEAN RECORD.

do you believe in love at first sight? yes, i do.

do you believe you can change someone? we'll see. LOL

do you give in easily when you are fighting? most probably.

do you have feelings for someone right now? yes, i think?

have you ever wish that you could have someone but you messed it up? not at the moment.

have you ever broken a heart? hopefully NOT.

if one day your best friend falls in love with the person you are deeply in love with,what will you do? that depends how deeply i love that person?

are you missing someone now? yes, as always.

Now,you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.write down their names in the list below.Tag them in their blogs to let them know.

I SHALL NOT TAG ANYONE. DO IT IF YOU WANT? HAHAHA

charlene tang, be glad i've used 23mins of my time doing these for you. rahs.

hahahahah. LONG ENOUGH I HOPE?

i was told that i should make my last post a long one.
alright. but i really got nothing much to blog about.

1. grandmum is back! (:

2. my result suck! ):

3. i love christian bautista's voice. pretty! (:

4. im still not motivated. wth):

5. i got my burberry perfume! (:

6. coldwar with mum still on? -

7. theres some money in my acc now. not more than $100 though(:

8. last day of using com. ):

9. i'll be able to PON school officially wef from next week (:

10. i love my darling lovely pillow teddybear. LOL (:


thanks for all the effort people. I SHALL SHOW MY APPRECIATION BY ACTIONS!
I MUST! (:

this could be my last time using the com. till O's end aye.
and perhaps i'll not update for a very long time.
i know i broke the promise. forgive me then.


this may not be the first time im blogging about you.
but anyhows, this is just for you.
as i said, i felt that everything was like a dream. the talk and everything.
something i definitely enjoy alot. really.
you may not let me see the other side of you.
but one day, if you're willing, i will be able to accept for who you are.
im really grateful, really really thankful to have you as my friend.
i may not be the best person you can confide to. and may not be the best person who can cheer you up. but if you allow me to, i'll try my best ya.
if you ever feel like a trash, i'll be your bin.
i just hope that this friendship shall always maintain as it is.
i wonder why must we purposely not to get close becos of the past experiences.
i believe that miracles do happen. i'll be willing to be that miracle even though we thought that everything is impossible.
andandand, not only church friend could be there, tuition friends too alright!
thanks for being that special someone!
im really bad in expressing myself, but hope you know i really appreciate everything alright.
and i also tried my best not to diappoint you.
forever might not exist. so lets just make everything wonderful for now.
your friend, me! wish/pray/hope that you'll always be that bubbly someone.
no matter what happen, remember my existence alright! hahaha
hope you like that small little surprise! lovelove(:

busing alone is nothing already. cos i got so used to it.
but busing with certain people can make the whole journey awesome.
guess i really enjoyed madada's company. im always teasing her. always sharing with her choc and sweets. always asking her to take picture with me when i feel like it.
alright, she's one of the few i enjoyed taking bus with la.
i cant wait to make fun of her again! HAHAHA
she can be so lovable at times aye.

i find myself doing silly things for certain people nowadays.
oh well, do i really enjoy everything or is everything worthwhile?
IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE.
happy is the word.

and, with or without me. hope mummy enjoyed her birthday today.

But anyway,
It's nothing so simple,
Nothing so silly,
Nothing so mundane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkaceAlvIv4
anyone knows the title of that song? TELL ME!


' I'll give you wings when you're falling, I'll lift you up when you're down. Taking you high,touching the sky. I'll make you fly. '
-edited version

i never thought that the effect could be so affecting.

grandma is still at the hospital. WITH NO FOOD PROVIDED. WTH):
my heart hurts. really really hurts when i saw that bruise which she got from that fall.
had soya bean drink just now. and it just reminded me of her again. rahs
i dread to go home now. will you be understand the feeling of emptiness and loneliness even at home?
i cant give the daily kiss. i cant touch her white silky hair. i cant sayang her.
im so lost without her.
I DONT KNOW WHY TOO!
perhaps, no one will love me as much as she did.

thanks ssa for coming online & declaring the LOVE so widely.
thanks little ass for those sweeeet smses.
thanks fel for being mad with me.
thanks auntie for that call.
thanks jess for buying supper.
thanks to you for being my shelter & the so-warming HUG.

COME BACK SOOOON PLEASE BELOVED!



*yet, im thinking of someone elses when im with you.

FUCK.
my so-ever first time using uncivilized word in my entry.
before i can even decide how i want to spend today.
its kinda spoilt.
perhaps, it will be another bad friday for me.
cos it has already began so wrongly.

i felt helpless. useless!
i hated myself for not doing anything when i see beloved suffering in pain.
something deep in, hurts even more.

so many things beyond my control.
so many things that can be avoided.

tellmewhatcanbedonenow?

alright. ONLY 1 zi-lian picture okay.
and thank you people ( namely little mouse, zhulingfu, old-crapper)
i got 3 NON-LIVING tortoise at home now!
anyway, i have named them:X
please just say that i love them so dearly and made them sounded good okay!
and not forgetting my lovely birthday card that i lovelove so much.
alright. you just wait to get something nice from me la!

i think i've finally know the reason for my STM.
i'll only tell everyone when i've proven it RIGHT aye.

i promise i will not waste tomorrow.
meaning. i want or hope it turn out well! (:
NO MORE BAD FRIDAY.

* What hurts the most?
i've given up hope on it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS BOYBOY!

i promise to visit you after my O's alright!
thanks for the cake anyway(:

VIDEO , LYRICS


beautiful lyrics, lovely singing.
i simply LOVE this song.

tuition with the noisy but lovable one on monday is just purely awesome.
i wouldnt mind giving up my jacket even though the air-con can be like ice-berg.
i wouldnt mind not chasing after the bus155.
i wouldnt mind searching the whole place just for the kisses.
i wouldnt mind being tempted.
i wouldnt mind lending my phone for smses.
i wouldnt mind msging the left with one cent hi-card phone.
i wouldnt mind listening to weird songs.
i wouldnt mind hearing the madness laughter and even joining in.
i wouldnt mind tolerating the dialect song.
and not forgetting the killing-kick,
ALL THESE, i wouldnt mind.

thanks for always putting up with my "nonsense" and hearing my "nonsensical grumble".
i miss saturday and now monday.
how awesome can whisper-talking be!
how great can be sharing mattress be!
how tasty can the beef pasta be!
how much would you enjoy wearing the same shirt !
anyhows, you should know my obvious answer!

LOVE YOU TO BITS AND EVEN CRUMBS, little ass! (:

somehow, im very very unwilling to do it.
im forced to react in the way i dont want it to be.
was it becos of you?
certainly, it is.
and can we make everything be in the way we actually deserved?
no doubt, we can.
you prove to me time can mean everything.
thats how we lose it in the first place.
what's next?
THIS PARA IS MEANT FOR OLD-CRAPPER.
is this obvious enough?


can anyone believe that i actually spotted the RIGHT QUESTIONS.
however, due to my poor memory, i forgot the answers.
and i actually went to change my supposedly answer, and it turn out to be the correct one.
i deserve to be hang!

as for now,


i shall eat my all time fav food: chicken wine mee suan !!


*wo hui hao hao guo

some happy moment.
alone & with companies.

BLANK.
cos im starting from the very beginning.

such a horrible person i am.
i spoilt the supposedly BIG-day.
i thought i could put everything aside, but i failed.
thanks for those who attempted to spoil it, you did it.
it was a struggle between the mixed feeling. i lost.
i was supposed to be the happiest person on earth on that very day, but im not.
tears were shed for the unworthy ones.
if its about expectation, please say that im a perfectionist.
if its about situtaion, i totally got everything out of hand.
if its about feeling, sorry that i failed to manage it well enough.
i tried my very best to wear the mask that i put on for so long,
strong and tough i appeared as, but it didnt stay still as long i want it to be.
i wish i could run away from all these, but im not allowed to.
i promise that you would not want to see the other side of me.
would you be able to accept me?
i fear the arrival of that day, but it came before i even know how to handle it.
i want to prove that im not vulnerable. i did it. but not on that very day.
when i actually got so affected by the tiniest thing, by the most unworthy one on earth.
do i deserve this?
if yes, thank you so much. so much.
if everything is in pieces, mine is worse than the most shattered one.
i have yet to found the truth. you were never true too.
you were only playing.
so does that mean i was actually fooling everyone all along?

if i could freeze the moment in my mind, i would have done so long ago.



I'M SORRY.

deb called at 10.11pm.
and the talk was hilarious!
i felt so much better (except for the comments on jasmine tye)
to 涵涵 ( its HANX2 in chinese; if you cant see it) : thanks so muchhhh. and love you!

click , tell me now.

and more lyrics will be posted ! hahaha

its a feeling that suck so badly.

partly becos jasmine tye is out of the competiton.
and so many many things that happened today.
as for now, im waiting for deb's call. since 8pm alright! rahs.
perhaps she has already found some pro to teach her. oh well.
and the conversation with lovely was #$%^&*!!!))):

im so not looking forward to what's gonna in 2 hours time.
right. its my 16th birthday.
last year, celebrated with the family, at swensen.
got earthquake as birthday cake.
as for this year, im not expecting anything.
just dont let me see that person. and i'll be real thankful.
anyhows, thanks grandma for all the things she did today.
asking uncle to fetch me to school, cut the apple (daily), giving me that bag of grapes (meant for her) , and cooking the chicken wine. no one will do all these thing for me, not even my mum. shouldnt i be REALLY THANKFUL for having her around. i really dont mind sleeping on the floor just to keep her company. im so guilty for my horrible attitude. only shirley and grandmum seen it though.
thanks for singing the birthday song, shirley. and my aunt & JJ who insist to wish me today.

im deciding if i should wish this friend of mine tmr.
its her birthday too.
oh well, remember me!



we went on seperate ways.

CLICK (song provided), JASMINE TYE SANG MY ALL-TIME FAV SONG TONIGHT(:


SPECIALLY FOR JASMINE TYE: even if the sun refuse to shine, you will still have my HEART and SUPPORT till the end of time.
so, even what if you're not singapore's idol, you'll still be my idol(:
you're have the sweetest smile! love(:
VIEW IT, not by me though.

we're just hi-bye friend, arent we?

sometimes i wish to leave everything unspoken.
hoping that you could just read my mind.
with just one glance, will you be able to know it?

CLICK, a song i wanted to sing to you.

its just a name.
a name that will not last forever.
i've finally convince myself with this fact.
saying goodbye to you isnt a sad thing anymore.

OR: thanks alot la! blogging about me that much.
as long as you dont beat me/bully that often, i'll be contented:X
yea, i miss that icy strawberry. i promise to enjoy it the next time.
thanks for cabbing down and always waiting for me.
cleaning my "stained mouth" with your hands(even though your hand its so dirty:X)
im feeling guilty now! LOL

pictures above, was the day's madness. love you girfriends!
when will it be the next time? hah
val and sw are sweet people.
not forgetting our gx( girlfriend), even though the promise was broken.
thanks val for that piece of duper sweeeet tissue. i will not lose it again!

the night was supposed to be awesome.
cos saw the someone who really caught my attention.
we board and alighted at the same bus-stop.
this special feeling that the someone gave me was different.
and from my observation, the someone was singing silently on the way.
interesting, as it seems.
we walk the same route home too.
but lost the someone becos i walk too fast.
anyhows, i hope to see the someone again, the one with the yellow slipper.
gosh, i felt like some insane one..

you totally spoilt my night.
defeated, i am now.
but the matter aint gonna rest.

thank you deborah for the offer to lighten my burden last night.
but good thing is, i rejected. if not, your back will be aching now..
thank you for even thought of coming to meet me just now.
even though i know supper with you will be great, but theres little we can do anyway.
love much.

thank you "DARDAR", for thinking so hard.
"let there be love" and i felt it.
thank you so much for attempting to console me.
i love you as much as you love me, or even more.

anyway, i just want to say i appreaciated everything(:

alright. picture speaks everything?
so today was more of catching up with friends than studying.
thanks everything dearies(:
somehow, laughing like some insane people was good enough to make my day.
that always happen with them around(:
despite of all the injuries, i guess all of us still had a fun time at the arcade. madness screaming though!

then was chatting with deb at ec.
as always, its awesome!
and not only did she speak some sense to me, but more than i expected.
the talk just seems to be endless..
somehow, i dont wish to end it(:

alright, the tuition friends are ALL online.
chatting and conferencing.. here i come(:

i shall blog while waiting for OR!
supposedly, we should meet at 10am.
but this friend of mine just found the bus-stop.
and the whole journey its like 1 hour?
oh well..
hopefully, i also get to meet my tuition friends.
so im kinda looking forward to my studying later.
there will definitely be pictures when OR is around.
and im going D'vine later. please let it turn out well? hahaha


NOTE HERE:
IF YOUR LIFE IS LIFELESS, MINE WOULD BE COLOURLESS.
SO NO MORE LIFELESS LIFE ALRIGHT!
MOVE ON AND PAINT MY LIFE! hahaha(:

GOOD NEWS FOR ME(:
aunt bought me BURBERRY BRITS. but its in USA now.
how i wish, my auntie is my mum and my mum is my auntie.
that could have happen 15+ yrs ago. and it almost happen.
but why it didnt happen?!
all thanks to my cousin's dad. my auntie's husband.
that's life. oh well..
aunt agree to sponsor the new slipper.
i will get it soon alright.
butbutBUT i will not bid goodbye to my old one yet!

thanks! and dining with you makes my food taste better too(:

i had a drive,driven by your love.
but when you messed around, i lost the drive i found.
wish you've been careful with my heart,but you tore it apart,and broke an angel's heart.
the kiss was true has to end somehow.

but I am so amused,you're still in my thoughts.

1. my wishful thinking.
walking along siglap with my beloved. my dog can come along too.
and that walk could be endlessssssss.
then, up to that 3rd floor balcony and have a heart-to-heart talk.
and the talk could just last till dawn crack.
hopefully, i could catch the sun rise.
also, good weather?
--------------------------------------------------------------
2. i SWEAR, everytime, i've tried not taking things for granted.
in fact, i treasured every single thing that you've have done for me.
have you done the same thing too? i doubt so.
sometimes, i wish we werent that close.
perhaps, thats when i enjoy everything or rather satisfy with everything.
do you think i really expect alot from you even when i didnt pin high hopes on you already.
have you ever spare a thought for me? i doubt so too. even when it comes to smallest thing.
and the conclusion i get is that..
perhaps we shouldnt be any closer.

i dont know whats wrong with me NOW.
perhaps you know it the best. and maybe you could tell me.
bad as it seems. or it just cant get any better?
OH WELL..
--------------------------------------------------------------

3."to my dearest friend, i know you're feeling bad too, NOW.
anyhows, no matter how bad i feel now, i still hope to cheer you up alright.
you'll not be forgotten. i'll always be there.
with much love. and cheers to our ever-so-long friendship.
HUGS! "


I PRAY FOR THE POURING RAIN NOW.

i thank god for this 7 months of friendship with you.
something i treasure much(:

*in a place where no one knows.

something that worth your attention.
2 mths and 20 days.. you and i will be free!
cos its the that day when we feed worksheets and books to the recycling bin!

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!
people that i can never forget for LIFE.

songs that ive been repeating recently,
written in the stars-westlife
better together-jack johnson
all of you-vertical horizon

is the sun back again?