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i came to blog.. just for someone.
and its none other than JOANNE GUO.
jojo, you must duper happy when you read this okay?
feel honoured and thankful yea?
cos.. i only do this for special people.
okay.. this post of mine is special dedicated to you only.
the best time we have ever been through.. i think is "sec 3 camp"?
guess you will agree with me.
but too bad.. you left us early due to "your leg". which brings back alot of nice memories.
dunno should blame you or what la. you grab that ice and run around..
and in the end.. that cause a very painful fell. and you went limping around after that.
but well well. you did that for FAITH 3/3. so kinda of WEI DA yahh. haha
still rmb that "piggy-back".. relax. im not gonna say that youre heavy or what.
in fact.. you are not that heavy as i expected. heh
but that was the time i discover your screaming skill. POWER sia. lol
you were like screamin all the way. but at least.. please trust my skill.
even if you sleep. i also wont drop you yahhh.

so after that.. together with amanda wing.. we became partner.
yes. indeed we contributed to alot of noise pollution. but was FUN sia. 3 cheers to us man!
we got sick together? we laugh together? we even said the same thing together at times. haha
that keeling down thingy. MR WONG LIED ALRIGHT. but anyway.. we know we really want to "sit together"
yes. really got to apologise that i always cant accompany you two.
other than a sorry, i cant do much. but please. i didnt always go with others like you two thought. really didnt. only at times..
but of course. i hope we can put aside all those unhappy things. those quarrel and stuff.
rmb that long talk we had.. nice sia. haha
but really got to say. you two really add lotsa colours to my life, its more than i can say.
really enjoyed. sometime, i even wish you still remain in prefectorial board ya. then we can rule the world man. HAH

i didnt regret knowing you yahh.
i will always be missing my dearest DRAMA QUEEN&PUNK PRINCESS.
next year is our last year.. though we might not be partner anymore.
but if anything happen, you can find me okay!
dont feel lonely.. cos we are always here for you.
but please dont kidnap my bag again yea? and dont box me. pain yahh. LOL
we'll meet if we got the time. GO KAYAKING together. lets not waste our 2-star cert. haha
thats all. you will always have my love kaes.
>>>>>>> -from the purest love of me (rmb not) :)
sealed with a kiss; MWAHhhhs<3

guess i wont be going out for the next 8 days.
well.i feel like im just wasting my time everyday doing meaningless things.
thats not what i want for my holiday yahh.
reason is I JUST DONT WANT TO GO OUT TO WASTE TIME.
yes. but going out does not mean im wasting my time.
unless im going out to like study?thats a different thing.
but i also dont know when. well. i will call that person up to "study" with me one of these days yea? HAH
i just need time now..
and maybe to make some changes to my life here and there.
in fact. i thought of making changes constantly. till im satisfy about things ya.
theres really a need to. becos ive been thinking some useless things for 1 year++.
i know i shouldnt be. this fucking thing that ive been thinking had really affected me in so many ways. other than a regret. i dunno what to say. so its time to put an end. if not.. i will regret MORE when i see my result.

but the best thing i can thought of in order not to make my holidays meaningless is
GET OUT OF SINGAPORE. but less likely yahhh.

i came to know that im actually not that important to you..in any way.
from everything that you did. everything that you thought..i know it
so maybe we should stop being like that.
please dont do whatever thing anymore. you dont know how it affected me.
you might not even realise. but it just torture me lots.
im not sure if you know that im referring to you. but i can possibly write out the big name of yours.
so be it. i do not wish to say anything further. dont even thought of asking me. cos i think i cant tell you this personally. so yahh.

leave me alone. since i can give up those things once. so i can do it again.
i just dont want to let down someone. forgive me.


to those that find my blog "chim"
im so sorry. perhaps you dont understand me well enough.
im just not those who write what they do the WHOLE DAY. no offence yahhh.
just give a space to let things out. thanks yahhh.

okay. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE BRAIN OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE!
go check the dictionary what is shagged yes.
thats all.

i cant tell out how i feel now.
total mess.
something seems missing.
i really dont know where to find it.
at this point of time. i hope someone can read my mind, and know what i want.
cos i, myself dont even know what i really want.
but usually.
when i lost something. regardless of what.
i would either think about it or search for it the whole day OR i'll just HACK.
but now. im not.
this is so WRONG.
and suddenly i realise i dun like green that much.
something that i like for so long..GREEN?
im choosing some other colours.
i find it so stupid. i hope i wont be affected.
okay. one very idiotic fren of mine say its time to be fickle-minded.
she just dont like the way i love about some stuff.
cos once i like about something. its kinda like forever.
but now.. it dont seems to be.
perhaps. i shouldnt really always like something that forever long.
same goes to other thing. but i hope i still like GREEN!:)
alright. im talking rubbish.
someone, please fill me with something. im close to madness?
okay. that song.. WHERE ARE YOU.. awesome. i cant stop repeating.
yes yes. whereareyouwhereareyouwhereareyouWHEREAREYOU.
hmm. and finally. i know howda sing that hao xin fen shou song. only that chinese part though.
okay. for now. i'll fill my mind with all those song. rahh. zzz

i couldnt believe i have such dream.
dreamt that geylang have arcade.. unbelievable.
and that whole dream was so unreal. if only it could be real.
yes. that everything will be so real only in my dream.
theres this part which is so freaking not bad.
knowing someone who read your mind. how nice huh.
but it seems in real life, it will never happen..
so just let me continue dreaming about my own silly stuff. HAO BU HAO?
and stop waking me up. please! its really too noisy.

just through certain things. i have prove myself that im not daring enough.
does that convince you that im no good.

something is no longer there.
and i dunno where to find it either.
if it didnt happen, it will be there forever. but now. it just gone missing.
i feel bad when i thought of it. i didnt want to.
i got no choice. maybe you might think its so bad of me to even thought of that.
but i just did. nothing else i can do now. its rather late.
from now on..i'll try to stop it. but you must help me.

i have already tried not thinking so much.
but somehow. i failed to do it.
i dreamt about it again.

i feel so bad about myself. i cant do much.

so many things happened these few days huh.
finally. i can put some things aside for a moment. phew!

that "new" air-con really can kill me. freezing cold yea.
oh. i forgot to hide myself in the blankie! cos i dun have one.
BUT gm is coming home.. sure she get me one la. no worries!

we'll just have to wait. but i hope the person who makes you unhappy is not me.
you must be happy kaes.

hmm. sorry people. leaving for airport soon. haha.
thats all.

i hope i can have less of that imaginary. it just make me feel bad of myself.

there so many things i dunno. i DUNNO if i shld figure it out or what.
my life can get so plain.. sianess
and none of the shows seems to entertain me in any way.
i wasnt laughing nor tearing. all was so sian.
i predicted everything so correctly.. even the scripts. all within my prediction.
i dunno what to do now.
okay. ppl..im not sad or what. why should i rite?
perhaps i should make myself busy.. and just let time passes.
and everything gonna be fine. i wont be having time to tink about stuff either.
and just sleep when i got tired.
see.. how bad can holidays be.
but school days are worse.
so i dun wanna waste my holidays. really dun want.
i wanna paint my life green!

since you can just throw everything aside for more than a month?
i cant be bothered either. i dont want to be stupid,salvaging everything over and over again.

someone is coming back and someone is going.

-all the craps im blogging. madness of me. Zzz

okay. time to touch on this dearie keyboard of mine.
hmm. im duper free today. but i chose not to stay at home.
well. i need some time to have my own personal space.
what can i do at home. its all about my computer and sleep. ENOUGH!
so.. i spent almost my whole day around marine parade.
and half of my day in the rain.
i dun know why. somehow, i hope the lightning can strike me.
one strike and im off. nothing else to think and worry of. kinda foolish. but i hope i really can let go.
oh please. i really got to apologise. i vent my anger on some innocent ppl today.
im really very sorry. i really dont want to. sorry to show you all "that kind of face".
i dont know whats wrong with me either. other than a sorry.. i dont know what to say either.

okay. after walking for dunno how long. i end up to be infront of the library..
so went to find davina and alicia since they were there.
then after that kleo joined us and we went PP..
and its swensen time! how fun.
my dear davina was claiming that kleo was seducing me.. with her "ehem"
we were obviously insane. we care no one alright.
alicia said smt touching today..
"hmm. we do not need alot of friends.. some close ones are enough, then she say if she got the money. she will buy smt good for us"
alright. im touched not because she said she will buy smt really good for us.
but its the way she said it.she sounded so serious and..... i cant phrase it either.
indeed some comforting words really make my day happier..
you know i hate to run away from alot of stuff. but somehow i thought thats the best way of solving problems. am i wrong to say that? i dunno.

okay. going to drink lime coke with my cousin again.. bye!

i spent my whole day waiting. whole day.
i even missed my breakfast and lunch just to wait.
i really dont mind.i kept to my words.
to you, if you ever happen to read it.
yes. i dont when will you read this. maybe you find that im silly enough to post this.
i really dont know what is that that you cant tell me.
i thought at this moment, we should be frank to each other.
for so many things, ive have never blame you. i tolerated. i let it go.
of course. i admit that im quite pissed at times and even said those harsh words.
but i really didnt mean it.
i dunno why. i just never really blame you.
maybe i really owe you too much. so i have never push all the blames to you.
i dunno if you believe anot. i even try to blame myself for everything.
i also dunno if its worth to do all the things for you. but i just did.
at this point of time. i really dont care if you appreciate or even care about what i have done.
its always like that. just when we spent the happiest moment together.
something always happen.
this morning.. im still thought that nothing will happen.
but after you told me that thing.. i know something is not right.
i hope it was a prank. but you told me its real.
i really dunno how to react. really puzzled.
why. why is everything always be like this. its always.
i hope to stop it. im trying all my ways. but it still happened.
maybe you might think i really think too much or what.
but one words of yours. its really killing me.
i just hope you can share it with me.
why is that we cant go through.
i hope you really understand my intention.
how long do i still have to wait.
why dont we just face the reality. would it be better.
like what ive said. i mean every words.
dont afraid to be alone. cos i'll be there.
but have you ever gave me a chance?
i hope from now onwards you will..

im serious

im here to annonce something.
i think im not playing MAPLE anymore.(yes. i play MAPLE if you people dont know.)
i was asked to play. but whats the point of playing when the person who ask me to play doesnt even play with me. so i decided to let other people take over.
i dont wanna hurt my fingers by pressing the buttons every single moment.
login to MAPLE everytime i on the computer. wait for the maintanence and stuff.
omg. okay. all because one deal or promise ive made, i paid lots.
i even neglected alot of people la. so sorry yea?
but well. i also came to know quite alot of people through the game. not bad afterall.
like what ive said. i may just go in once in a blue moon. who noes rite? haha

ohh. just now my fren came my hse. okay. i noe i look terrible. i didnt sleep well you see.
and i just woke up from my nap la.
we had a short "true or dare" game before we eat the pudding. becos we are too bo liao..
im always the one who chose DARE. i like what!
i hate telling the truth. haha. but.. that dare was errr.. hard. so sorry. never will i touch your lip.
whatever that you wanna say.. i cant. dont have that feeling. LOL. pls dont blame me.
my lips recognise people de. haha.

ohh. anyway.my lips is bleeding again.
i think its because i nvr drink water. LOL
haiz. the dunno-how-many-times!
please. someone please help. lol. i think my blood will all drain out if this continue.
gosh. i think i really have to go. my lips are really "RED'' now.


dont try to understand. cos you will never. :)

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older

You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you
I dont care if that's not fair

Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it, show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know it, know it

Don't make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell

Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never


i dont noe why. someone sent me this song which i thought that majority part of the song "fitted" me. i'll change the song lyrics when i got the copyright.
ALL or NOTHING.
you decide it all.

off to sleep. im tired.

i will just finish this post and im off to dreamland.
since 1am is EARLY. so if i sleep at 10 today..that will be SO EARLY.

hmm. this morning thingy was rather not bad.
we played paintball? but...
the OUCH word came after the game.
i got two bruises. which is like consider lucky.
oh my dear davina was so nice. she was so concern about it. so sweet. LOL.
the two of us. just went @#$@#$%^& throughout the whole journey.
yes. im sorry to those that i have shot. opps. i really didnt want to shot until so accurate. HAHA
anyway. that "talking session" was really... so personal. okay. its up to you guys to believe what i've said. but somehow thats really the true side of me. and just keep to urself. YOU ALL ARE NOT SURPOSE TO TELL ANYONE. okay. THATS A DEAL BETWEEN US!
after that we played the modified version of "dogs and bones".. so "wWVIOLENCE".. but was nice. luckily they didnt take the picture that i was pulled. okay. i look dumb. but i managed to score. hey hey. thanks to my duper fun group.
and to candy and rest. pls.. thats not a POOL. thats a golf court. still say you all are filty rich.
filty dirty hai cha bu duo. HAHA . paint all over.
went to the cafe and drink.. alright. that woman that appeared on the tv was really.. BRAVE.
with that mushroom hair. she still there SINGING and DANCING. how entertaining.
okay. then we went back le.. again crap with my dear davina..
yes. TO DAVINA.. i noe you are very happy that i saved your name as dear..haha. cos you save it too huh. yes. everybody noe you are my dear la. you say so loud. P-S la. but i like it yea? haha

the rest of my day... that is meant to be a dirty little secret.
sweet as candy;lollipop.

ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzz

finally. i slept early last night. there can be miracle!
but my miracle only happen when warnings are given. haha
anyway. i hope heaven can do me a favour yea?
just one small little favour.
DONT RAIN NOW.
hmm. the great heaven.. though i have alot of requests.
but for now. PLEASE DUN RAIN!
PLEASE PLEASE!
im off. guess i wont be around for that next 5 hours..
.....................................ZOOM........................................................
ohh. how many dots have i left?
GO COUNT! haha
prize will be given!:)

im bored now..BORED!!
so i went round viewing ppl's blog.. and do some stuff..
and i saw smt..
someone stated in the blog.." i miss you 37 times per minute"
im thinking.. if you really miss the person.. should the number of missing be only 37?
err..
to me.. i would write.. i miss you every second in my minute.
37 is still far too little. what happen to that 23 times..
becos. 1 min=60sec. so shld be 60 times huh? haha.
okay. im bored. so dont blame me for crapping.
but somehow. i find my words make sense yea?
and to that person.. so sorry. i just happen to read about your blog.
that is just little comment from me.:) no offence ya.


im still wondering.. can i really say i miss you. HAha=)

okay. no more PAUL FRANK.
frankly speaking. im not someone who really love PAUL FRANK..
so dun get the wrong idea that i love PAUL FRANK because its the main theme of my blog.
but whatever it is.. PAUL FRANK is my friend. HAHA

i got nothing much to say today. cos IM VERY TIRED.
i got to sleep early today cos i got that LAST WARNING.
if not. i'll regret. fine. i go sleep early today.

a song for that lady; i miss that special feeling and aroma...

im lost.
lost in the world that i shouldnt have come.
well. i guess i should be called parentless.
thats makes no difference.
i have nothing now.
everything is gone.gone to i dont-know-where.
i guess i just have to rely myself and not others anymore.
how i wish. i can just vanish. yes. not anyone else. myself only.
i find everything that i have done has all gone down to the drain.
who could ever understand.
i have to put up a cheerful infront of some people, just to tell that im okay?
but in fact im not. its really hard to put up that mask everyday.
how can everything be solved?
i have realised..even the person that i was hoping to be by my side is not even there when i need a support.
ohh. im such a failure.
so can i not be there when you needs me.
just hope you. the selfish one can go through what im going through now.
well. perhaps like what someone has told me.
he said " survive without a friend" it might be better.
though it might sound ridiculous to some of you.
but go think about it.
among all your friends..
who on earth will really be there?
who on earth are really that trustworthy ones?
who on earth really treat you as friend and dont just make use of you when he or she needed you.
well. i really got nothing to say.
dont feel like thinking about any other thing.
i just hope i can have some respect.

im home! but its not the same anymore.
grandma went china this morning. sigh.
i really dont want her to go. really dun wish.
for some reasons. i hope she didnt go. but its too late.
but i cant be selfish and stop her from going.
everybody knew she wanted to go so badly.
too bad. though she ask me to join. but i dont want to. just dun feel like going.

anyway. i tink the class enjoyed the lesson with DR JOSEPH today.
alright. we got lots of comments. but i shall not say it. cause some are rather mean okay.
alright. i can solve question okay. some? there is still room for improvement la.
so it means. with not really alot of distraction. i can study. well. i proved it alr.
at least this MATH lesson was better than that ENGLISH LESSON. haha

ya. so majority of the day were spent on this math lesson.
then after settling that discipline case. i met my dear on my way home.
we went to eat laksa. yes.. LAKSA AGAIN. omg. i had so many LAKSA this week.
but i like it. haha. NICE. we add some much chilli la. but its NOT hot at all can.
chat for some time then we're planning to go seoul garden this friday.. MAKAN.
but i suggested MARINA SOUTH. hopefully we can go my place.
then i went home.. and i start blogging. thats it. someone rushing me alr..

err..

anyway. hmm. pls dun have any wild imagination. my dear is a SHE.
dont be too disappointed. someone who is NOT from my class. HA.

really gotta go. TA!

hmm. today had only ONE period of math. and the rest was ENGLISH.
yvo and i had the same feeling. that the teacher was all the while focusing only on some people.
FINE with us. we give no damn about it.
but initially i thought it might be kinda useful to me.
but at the end of it. i still dun really get what shes teaching.
well is not easy conveying a message to somebody alright.
so is even harder to make someone understand what are we saying.
well. if the person always or still dint get it. what can we do right? haha

anyway. today was not a bad day yea.
i ate beef! omg. unbelievable. not bad though.
BURGER KING 's burger==> not bad arh!:)
hey guys. lets hide in the toilet again if we have time.
alright? haha

stop what you're doing.
if not im really gonna hate you more.
PLEASE.

i found out the truth.
you lied.
WHY?
how many times must i tell you i really hate liars. really.
and when did i even tell lies. no huh?
so why must you lie to me in the first place?
im sensitive enough to discover you lied.
BUT WHY YOU AGAIN..
why are there so many liars around!
im sick of it..
at least i hope you could tell me everything before i found out.
but you did not..
if youre not gonna care.
fine. im just to blind to see anything.

im back. back from school.
yes. though slept late yesterday but still went to sch today.
im so guai. another guai person. YVONEE CHEW.
all because of GAME(though not the same game) we slept really late. but we still go school la.
im so proud of myself. for the first time.
anyway. yes. didnt regret going school today. FUN to me.
esp when orange and pig-ki-ni is sitting behind me.
punk princess and drama queen is sitting infont of me.
woo! we aint quiet at all?
anyway. i know i caught alot of attention today.
yes. ive changed. my SKIN COLOUR i mean.
but you guys.. reaction abit too big arr..
even teachers make fun of me.
yepp. went tanning. a special one.
but you all guess wrongly. NOT with fellicia.
okay. thanks for the reminder. i will take good care of my skin and not let it peel.
at least not end up like my lao gong. haha.
anyway. on my way home.
saw dawn koh. i dont know why. im just that happy to see her. really happy.
had a deal with her. 10th NOVEMBER! our big big day. haha
DAWN KOH! if you happen to see this. BE GLAD.
i post YOUR NAME duper big okay!
hmm. i guess im going k-box soon. i wanna sing song.
who wanna come along can come. jo and amanda will be going. haha
ya. so sorry to those. i had my katong laksa few days ago.
but no worries. i want to go again soon. tell me if wanna come along..
lets add alot of chilli to our katong laksa! SPICY..
yes. guess im going to tan soon AGAIN.
and also go marina south makan makan.
and of course. i will invite my dear "PAPER" to go..
"paper" if you want to go. give me a call alright. i will feng pei dao di!
hee. going to eat my lunch..
TA!:)

woke up at two today. that is already consider as early alright.
cause usually when i sleep late. i wake up even later.
yes. shut my eye exactly at 0530 am.
that is like how nice. after talking to someone.
alright.. my fren say i dun sound good.
i guess fren is right to say that la.
i was really angry ytd. and seems to be angry about everything.
"some people" are really affecting me too much.
and why do i even say somebody.
because is not just ONE PERSON.
please. toturing enough.
furthermore some are my dear ones.
gosh. why are they doing this to me.
so perhaps being alone or living all by myself can be so nice.
really. it really can be.
rather than those hurtful words. which make ppl angry and painful at the same time.
hmm. i decided to train myself to tolerate people even more.
because someone's behaviour is driving me mad.
arhh. when will this put to an end.
i guess whoever who is in my shoe right will be living in despair.
dont i sacrifies enough?
i gave up something which is once important.but that doesnt help.
what for then?
im hate myself for that moment.
i do all the things just to make people happy?
but they cant see my effort.
my struggles. my pain.
someone please understand.
im dying.
nothing seems to help.
yes. i think i lost everything.
im nothing. i realised. NOTHING AT ALL.
for all the things.
i dun deserve a single stuff.
for all those that ive done.
its wasted.
you just dont understand a single bit.
you just dont get it right from the beginning.

SORRY. im am just too lousy.

HUNGRY! TIRED! rahh!
anway..today is holloween right?
i think i'm qualified to go around scaring people without any make-up or dressing?
cause i look PALE..MESSY..SCARY enough alright!
anyway.. someone is on the way to buy food for me.
so i hope to finish blogging before my food ARRIVE.
oh well. in return.. i'll give that person 4 PORKBALLS! i'm kind enough huh.
my food! my food! still haven arrive.. haha
anyway. have been craving for laksa all these while. but too bad. people are busy? forget it then..
hmm. i miss marina bay! ......
and its food again..to be exact.. is marina south.
(no live prawns and crabs please) though i'm not afraid of them.. but for some reason. i just dont wanna have them..
yes yes. i have been asking people to go with me.. but they have yet to give me their reply..
I"M STILL WAITING..
oh. just thought of something.. cause i forgot to ask "paper"
paper sure wanna go with me. haha
MY FOOD IS HERE..

to be continued...